A few days ago, I decided to take a breath and get my hands into the tasty lunch our vocational training students students prepared for us. Well, I got my hands and the rest of me followed suite to a tasty bath of calories... It was a thematic lunch, with dishes from all over the European Union, and I want to share with you my personal selection. Here we go....
Above, my friends, is my first dish. The poor lonely green on the upper corner, which is just there for decorative purposes, is a Niçoise Salad. If you follow me clockwise, you'll travel to Poland -Golabki, which is a meat roll-, carellian rice cakes and, finnally, a slice of 'vitello tonnato', an italian recipe. Are you hungry? There's more to come...
My second dish shows a delicious risotto in the centre, flanked by a croatian pasticada... Yummie!
Finnally, for desserts, a little bit of a mix here: ice cream, pear cake, cream cake, and a cream puff with strawberries.
Do you think I went too far? Do you believe I'm blurring the thin line of my... well, my fitness line? But you're forgetting who you're talking with! I'm an experienced history teacher, me. And I've got plenty of philosophical, moral and psycological arguments for refusing your refutations. Exempli gratia:
- Negasionist argument: those pictures are fake. What I had really had was a dish of stewed spinachs and a natural yougurt.
- Army argument: I was following orders. My school's deputy head and psycologist were seated in the same table. I had no options...
- Platonic argument: the feast you see here is just a shadow of primoridal and ideal delicacies, and shadows DO NOT HAVE CALORIES. Any problem?
- Constructivist argument: any dish is, in fact, a mere mean of expression, made out of a serie of grammatically coherent resources, and as you try to make any sense out of what I've just said, I helped myself desserts twice.
- Postmodern argument: any generalization on calories amount and / or metabolic consequences on the food I had is, in essence, deceitful. The very dish you see in the pictures is, too, fake, a lie to our senses. True is unknowable and inexpressible. Therefore, I eat what I want. Could you please pass me the whipped fallacy?
- Political argument: there only are one or two sweets; the rest of it is healthy food.
- Epicurean argument: eating is pleasant.
- Freud's argument: any culinary liking expresses a deep childhood trauma, probably a sexual one. Individuals can't help trying to balance their character deficiencies through eating very rich, very fat food. Are you going to pass me the whipped cream, or do I have to go there and take it out from your cold dead fingers?
- Leonidas argument: spartans do not ask how many calories are there, but where they are. Au! Au! Au!
